Crabbage Snatch Open - Clabmas Calors

Crabmas Poetly and Calors

Bend over, Crotchet 25-Dec-2001

Snatchels,

Tis the season to be jorry, fa-ra-ra-ra raaa-ra-ra-ra-ra, Glab youl clotch and yank youl warry, fa-ra-ra-ra raaa-ra-ra-ra-ra. Dong we now so gay appalent fa-ra-ra fa-ra-ra ra ra ra. Thlough his anus tir you'le spent fa-ra-ra-ra raaa-ra-ra-ra-ra!

Hadtocheckinwifyoubitches,
Blandt



27-Dec-2001

Ah, most auspicious Snatchels,

My pelleniar favolite Chlistmas calor arways be, ah, Noerr....

The filst Noer,
the angers did say,
cum to ronesome pool shepalds,
the Fierds, whele they ray.

The Fierds wourd ray,
comfolting theil sheep,
on a cord wintel night,
probing so deep.

Noer, noer, noer, noer,
Field moresting rivestock in Islear.

MS

Most solly, I aflaid that I can't herp myserf.

Prease to extend my walmest legalds to arr of you as werr as youl famiries.



27-Dec-2001

And now a Christmas favorite as sung by Cabin Boy Thibley

Oh tongue in bum, Oh tongue in bum
How tathtetful ith your crackneth
Oh tongue in bum, Oh tongue in bum
How tathteful ith your clackneth

Your cheekth tho toft
I love thothe thighth
I thpread them wide
And thlurp inthide

Oh tongue in bum Oh tongue in bum
How tathteful ith your crackneth



27-Dec-2001

Awe, man, you guys are soooooo sick. I mean, this is suposed to be the time of year that we all get together and greet each other and have fun and family shit and grab each other and play with each other and fondle our wives and each other and all that shit, you know? So stop all this crap right now and about basturdizing our national and religious songs about our premoidial past and upbringings and all that stuff. You guys ought to be ashamed of your lack of respect for the right to bear arms and teeth and each others arseholes at a time when Amereica needs us most. Really...

Your pal,
GumpfhumpfgumpsplatshitahheehumpfwhewandBambiyoucocksuckerssuckme



27-Dec-2001

On the first day of Fistmas my true love gave to me,
A sausage in my bare seat.

On the second day of Fistmas my true love gave to me,
Two turdhole loves,
And a sausage in my bare seat.

On the third day of Fistmas my true love gave to me,
Three frenched men,
Two turdhole loves,
And a sausage in my bare seat.

On the fourth day of Fistmas my true love gave to me,
Four balling turds,
Three frenched men,
Two turdhole loves,
And a sausage in my bare seat.

On the fifth day of Fistmas my true love gave to me,
Five golden showers,
Four balling turds,
Three frenched men,
Two turdhole loves,
And a sausage in my bare seat.

On the sixth day of Fistmas my true love gave to me,
Six guys a-layin',
Five golden showers,
Four balling turds,
Three frenched men,
Two turdhole loves,
And a sausage in my bare seat.

On the seventh day of Fistmas my true love gave to me,
Seven schwanz for sipping,
Six guys a-layin',
Five golden showers,
Four balling turds,
Three frenched men,
Two turdhole loves,
And a sausage in my bare seat.

On the eighth day of Fistmas my true love gave to me,
Eight men for milking,
Seven schwanz for sipping,
Six guys a-layin',
Five golden showers,
Four balling turds,
Three frenched men,
Two turdhole loves,
And a sausage in my bare seat.

On the ninth day of Fistmas my true love gave to me...



28-Dec-2001

You've heard of The 12 Gays of Fistmas, Ah...Noerr, Oh Tongue In Bum...but if you act now YOU can get all these cherished songs on one CD! Also included...

He Came Upon a Midnight Queer

Rudolf The Red-Nosed Menstrual Sniffer

Captain Sark is Coming

Howheblewya!

Lick The Balls

Away With A Stranger

Little Hummerboy

Frothy The Blowman



28-Dec-2001

Christ, Brundt, can't you finish anything?!?!...

On the ninth day of Fistmas my true love gave to me,

Nine hummers humping
Eight men for milking,
Seven schwanz for sipping,
Six guys a-layin',
Five golden showers,
Four balling turds,
Three frenched men,
Two turdhole loves,
And a sausage in my bare seat.

Oh the tenth day of Fistmas my true love gave to me,

Ten wankers wanking
Nine hummers humping
Eight men for milking,
Seven schwanz for sipping,
Six guys a-layin',
Five golden showers,
Four balling turds,
Three frenched men,
Two turdhole loves,
And a sausage in my bare seat.

Oh the eleventh day of Fistmas my true love gave to me,

Eleven Pritings prancing
Ten wankers wanking
Nine hummers humping
Eight men for milking,
Seven schwanz for sipping,
Six guys a-layin',
Five golden showers,
Four balling turds,
Three frenched men,
Two turdhole loves,
And a sausage in my bare seat.

Oh the twelth day of Fistmas my true love gave to me,

Twelve dorks a-dripping
Eleven Pritings prancing
Ten wankers wanking
Nine hummers humping
Eight men for milking,
Seven schwanz for sipping,
Six guys a-layin',
Five golden showers,
Four balling turds,
Three frenched men,
Two turdhole loves,
And a sausage in my bare seat.

Dave, I hope you got everything you wanted for Christmas. I guess that goes for Evan, too.

MS



28-Dec-2001

T'was the night befur Crabbage,
and all thru the house,
not a creature was stirring,
not even Dave's mouse.
(OK, so maybe its cause he beat it (off) to death)
and along 'bout midnight,
like a train thru a subway,
cums Thibley a callin'
with twelve elfs to spoo(k) him.
(Burshit,,,I said spoo)
Cum Brundt, let me show yu's
my herd of helpers,
here's Evan an Marshal an Tommy's ol' foxsel,
cum Phirl an Slakmouth an Boobio's tassles,
let Sark an Snoid an Seemore's cheeks fly,
(sorry, Kerig should get mentioned at least twice)
we'll make off with Brundt's
little mouse befur mounin'
an leave him with squat,
cause that's he's hot fur.

Now everyone knows,
what a good little snatcher Dave is,
so Santa Field gave him
just what he wished fur.

When all the OOos an Ahhh's
were all done fur,
Brundt could only muster
"Do me again Santa - won't ya?"

Burrsht Classics - Bambi Press limited



30-Dec-2001

Oh you better watch out
And guard yer brown eye
Watch yer anal route
I'm tellin ya why
Captain Sark is comin' for brown

He's makin a fist
And greasin up right
Gonna pound it
All into the night
Captain Sark is comin' for brown

He pokes you when yer sleepin
Don't care if yer awake
He knows when you've been ripped before
So just hide for sphincter's sake

Oh you better watch out
And guard yer brown eye
Watch yer anal route
I'm tellin ya why
Captain Sark is comin' for brown



30-Dec-2001

Sark, his bare old anus stinks
Gorey spew his newborn kinks
Piece of girth, his juicy child
Rod that inner rectal pile

Joyful all his wrinkles rise
Spreading all the manful thighs
In A-hole-ic host he came
Twice was torn this bungish game
Sark, his bare old anus stinks
Gorey spew his newborn kinks.



5-Dec-2002

Richard Benner's ass is smelly
Fa La La La Laa, La La La Laa
God knows what starts in his belly
Fa La La La Laa, La La La Laa
Run we now -no one can bear it
Fa La La, La La La, La La Laa
Get a mask- germs so apparant
Fa La La La Laaa, La La La Laaa



6-Dec-2002

List of Giant's games for next year

day date # section/row
sat 4/12 LA 50 304 / 10
thurs 5/1 Chi Cubs 25 304 / 10
sat 5/31 Colorado 25 143 / 13
sat 6/28 Oakland 25 304 / 10
thurs 7/24 Arizona 25 305 / 13
sat 8/9 Philies 25 304 / 10
sat 9/6 Arizona 50 304 / 10
thurs 9/18 San Diego 25 143 / 13
sat 9/27 LA 25 304 / 10
sat 9/28 LA 25 304 / 11



6-Dec-2002

Hackett,

I don't really see how these mundane lyrics can fit into any traditional Christmas Carol music. Is it rap? If so, shouldn't there be a few "Muthas" or "Ho-bitches" in there? Help me out.

Dave



8-Dec-2002

He came upon a midnight queer
That glorius queenie named Marsh
He jumped on Kerig and ripped his bung
He promised he would not be harsh

Piece of his girth
Goo spillt on men
He wines them
Then dines on their loins

He came upon a midnight queer
That glorious queenie named Marsh.



9-Dec-2002

(Sung to "Silver Bells")

Benner Smells, Benner Smells
It's Chili Night at the cabin
Hear him toot, The air pollutes
Soon it will be hard to breathe

Garbage dump sites, Broken sewer pipes, can't beat Benner's asshole
Smell's like something crawled up there and died
Chili cheese dogs, cause a butt clog, he's been loaded for days
And all through the cabin you'll hear

Smelly Farts, Smelly farts
Weapons of mass destruction
Benner smells, Benner smells
Soon they'll be no air to breathe.



9-Dec-2002

Dave,

You have no imagination for the avant garde. Didn't you notice that there were twelve gayme offerings?

Steve is an artiste with such a high level of expression that a luggard like yourself would need to pull your head all the way out of your own ass (or Marshall's) to grasp the subtle symbolisms therein.

Here, I'll help....

On the first day of Gaymas,
My boy-toy gave to me,
A blow job in his Dodger uniform.

On the second day of Gaymas,
My boy-toy gave to me,
two chubby Cubs,
And a blow job in his Dodger uniform.

And so on...

You just don't get it. Hackett is like a Crabbage Andy Whorewall.

MS



9-Dec-2002

Sorry Paul,

What was I thinking? I've seen Hackett's art. Rather Jackson Pollock...in earth tones...on his shorts. I asked him once what he called it and he said it was "L'dumpp Sans TP"

Dave



11-Dec-2002

Evan is such an asshole
He's a big fucking dick
And if you ever saw him
It would only make you sick

All of the other Snatchers
Used to call him Nose and Rag
They never liked his pie hole
And used their dicks as a gag

Then one farty Snatcher Day
Slackett came to say
Evan with that nose so huge
Won't you vacuum Benner's splooge

Then all the Snatchers loved him
And they shouted out with glee
Evan you're still an asshole
And a big fucking idiot.



13-Dec-2002

The first "No, Al!"
The Limey did say
"I don't want that shoved in
My asshole today!"

"Noo, Al...noo, Al...noo, Al...NOO AL!!"
Torn is my rectum
From yesterday.



13-Dec-2002

I've got one! I've got one! Let's sing, Bobby Blows So Many Gentlemen. Everyone knows it....

Bobby blows so many gentlemen
'tis clear he's pretty gay.
He's on his knees so much for guys,
his pants stay bent that way.
The Snatchers know where to come,
when Marshall's herpes displays.

Oh, bite me, and then we'll have some lunch-
have some lunch.
Oh, bi-ite me, and then we'll have some lunch.



14-Dec-2002

Paul, Dave, I think you're forgetting a couple of the classics. Here, I'll hummer a few bars of the first one:

Brandt's dreaming of a white Gaymas
His white all over Field's asshole
When he pokes Rag's brownie
He is a Mountie
And oh, a-sploogin' he will go

Brandt's creaming on Gom Tartarsauce
And through the swaying of Dave's hips
Gom will get his pleasure, and I...
...I have Dave's cheeks slapping on my thighs


But I'm sure all will enjoy singing along with me on this one:

Why is my dick so hard ba-rum-pum-pum-pum?
I see the drummer boy's ba-rum-pum-pum bum
I'd love to diddle his ba-rum-pum-pum bum
rum-pum-pum bum
rum-pum-pum bum bum bum



17-Dec-2002

Hey joo pucking Natchers. Itot eetwud timng I tangchoo my pabrittong.

Dacheeng truda no
Onnaonghors openg lay, mang
Oberda peelds we cruze
Lappeeng alldeway

Hay...Joo lappeng at me?????
Joowanna peedome?

Beldon bobtail reeng
Makeeng pirits brite
Watpun eetees to lap and teeng
A layeengtong tonight, mang...so puck choo!

O Cheengo belds
Cheeng belds
Cheengo alldeway
O watpun eetees to cruze
Onnaonghors openg lay, mang.

Wutdat? Doanchoo be lookeeng amilikedat
I puckeeng keejoo!!
Den I keedose puckeeng raingdeerd!
Watdat? Wherd my Creedmat pirit??
I doan geeb no cheet eepeet Chrobe Tooday.



19-Dec-2002

Ojoo bernot chout
Choo bernot cry
Choo bernot powt
Cud Ing telleengjoo why
Tanta Claus eet comeeng to town, mang.

Hebe makeeng tumpuckin leest
Sheckeeng eet to timngs
Gonna pind ou who been chitty or cool
Tanta Claus eet comeeng to town, mang!

He teesjoo whengjo leeping
Heno eep jor awake

Watta puckin perbert! Eep i tee dat mudderpucking patolpeedacheet een my
bedroo tarin atmi, Igonna chovedat lay upheesass!

He noeepjoo been all pucked up
So don't choo geeb heem no cheet

Ojoo bernot chout
Ang turnopp dose pucking tears
Choo bernot powt litum woosie cheek
Cud Ing telleengjoo why
Tanta Claus eet comeeng to town, mang.



27-Dec-2002

I'm sorry, I forgot one....


The Little Hummer Boy

Come, and hurry, Ah hum a hum hum.
while I'm on my knees, Ah hum a hum hum.
My name is Mar-shall,Ah hum a hum hum.
I worked my way through Cal, Ah hum a hum hum.
Blow-ing guys,
Blow-ing guys.



31-Dec-2002

Should auld Seymour days be forgot,
When he drank all the wine
For bein a wanker and poofta
and days of Auld Limey Syne

For Auld Limey Syne, chug beer
For Auld Limey Syne
We'll barbeque and hook and slice
For Auld Limey Syne



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